you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
