You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
