We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
