You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
