if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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