real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
