Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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