u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You're a waste of cheezeits
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize