I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The best revenge is premature balding
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
