I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
