This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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