I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
