yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
