You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I touched a dick in church today
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
