so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
