I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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