Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
