His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
