I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Don't make out with my wife yet
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
