Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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