Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
