How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the liver wants what the liver wants
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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