you guys were way drunker than both of me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
