We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
