no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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