4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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