she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
