i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize