The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
