how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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