fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
