Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
