Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
