I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
