I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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