I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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