I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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