I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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