Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
