Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
