I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize