So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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