Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
