I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
