so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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