thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
