the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Green mimosas i think yes
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
