About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
