I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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