Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
