please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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