You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
