Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
