She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
