so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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