I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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