he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
