How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
