Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
