woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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