Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Will exercising make me less horny?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
