i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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