Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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